NINE

There are only nine days left over here in Korealand. My new beard count... is higher than before. I don't know what the last number was, but I saw a beard yesterday that beat all other beards. It was long, and almost full.

I also saw the results of parking your scooter behind a trash truck on a hill. CRUNCH. The trash truck driver had apparently gotten out of his truck without setting the brake, or maybe without even thinking about the fact that he was on a hill, or maybe the brake failed? I dunno. He yelled and tried to get people out of the way, and all escaped unharmed, except one scooter. Mangled. Just utterly destroyed. Poor thing, never stood a chance.

As my time winds down over here I am becoming paranoid with thoughts of personal injury. Twice today while I was biking I thought about how awful it would be crash. The other day I was riding along behind an old man. He had a flat back tire. He also had a huge load of junk balanced precariously on the back of his bike. As he rode along he was honking his horn, to warn people he was coming. It's a good idea. So he was approaching this one girl who was walking along, listening to her iPod. He was honking away but she wasn't looking. Then she must have heard him because she started looking around, and then, HORROR of horrors, she stepped INTO his path, instead of out of it. So he swerved and missed her by an inch, but part of his pile of stuff caught on her. Everything avalanched off his bike onto the sidewalk, she jumped out of the way and kept going, but he wiped out. Poor old guy. So I had to swerve around him and his mess to avoid becoming part of the accident. He wasn't hurt at all. He managed to leap, gracefully, out of harms way and remain upright while his bike crashed. Crazy Koreans and their balancing skills. But, now I am paranoid. Some people ride their car horns, I ride my bike bell. Ding ding, GIT OUT OF MY WAY.

Yesterday I met up with what's left of my orientation group. We get along so much better now than we used to. I think anyway. We had a nice time eating and talking. Lots of laughing and joking. What a funny bunch.

On Thursday I have invited my religion students over to eat at my place. I am going to make lasagna and brownies. Two of my favorite things in the whole world. I don't know if they will like it at all, but if they don't that's ok, more for me!

Also, today my fellow teachers at this institute got me a cake and shot confetti at me. Small, impromptu going away party during staff meeting. It was fun. I had to make another speech. I guess I should have just prepared some speeches, since I have already had to give two. Hopefully that is the end, but probably not. Sigh. It's hard to leave people. I will miss these people a lot. I have been working with some of them for the whole year that I have been here. Others only a few months, but when you work together, fight together and live together you become close quickly. I want to come home more than anything but I will miss these dear people who have become like family to me. And I will miss this church. It is such a close group. We all spend insane amounts of time together on the weekends. It feels like home, and it is always hard to leave a home.

But I need to come back to my life. I need to try to make my home in Americaland again. Speaking of homes, I really want to get a house. Not today. Someday soon. It would be so nice not to have to move every year. For the past... four years? Every year I have moved to a new apartment. It is exhausting. I am sick of packing and unpacking. I want to unpack and stay a while.

Anyway, my countdown is getting smaller. It seems like only yesterday I was sitting in orientation, learning way too much way too fast. And now... I am leaving. It took so long and happened so fast. My brain doesn't even know what to do with it all.

the end for now =)

One year ago today...

One year ago I today, I was tired, confused, hot and sticky. I was in a new country, far, FAR away from anything I knew. I was with a group of people I didn't know, learning how to teach to people I didn't know. It was overwhelming.

I remembering arriving in the airport and it was eerie. I have never been in an airport that was so silent. It was like all the people had been muted. I remember standing there, feeling gross and tired, waiting for my luggage, listening to the hushed talking. Words I didn't understand. I remember being overly excited about the free luggage carts they offered. Then we went out of the baggage area, and saw a sign welcoming us to our new home. "SDA" it was like a guiding light, piercing through the tiredness. =P

And then meeting everyone, trying to be polite when all I really wanted was a shower, and a bed. And to be left alone. Something that wouldn't happen for a long time. We rode the bus for what seemed like hours, days even. At first the outside world could have been any state in America, but as we came into the city things were not the same. The first thing I noticed were the girls. Walking around in their short shorts and the highest heels ever. And I'll admit it, my first thought was, why are there so many hookers walking around in public. But of course I didn't realize that girls in Korea are NOT hookers, and that it is very common to wear heels with everything. And that was just the beginning of the wonders this country had in store for me.

And now it has been a year. The weather is almost identical. Hot, rainy and SO humid. At that time, I didn't know what kind of evil was possessing my hair. And now I have learned to embrace the curliness that I apparently have. The apartment is the same. New room... but that's about it. The sounds are the same, the smells are the same. Most things seem the same. But the difference is, I am used to it now. It's not making me feel out of place. It just feels like yet another apartment, in yet another city. Not that I have lived in many cities, but I sure have lived in a lot of apartments. The sounds don't scare me. Even being honked at on the road doesn't send me into a full body spasm anymore, thank goodness.

I ride my bike places. I ignore people who are staring. I ignore people who are yelling. I ignore the stench wafting out of the drain that I walk over every single day. I duck as I go under that one sign that is really too low for humans, maybe ok for Hobbits... I check the mirror as I come up to the dangerous side street. I jump out of the way for scooters and then keep going. I walk everywhere and like it. I have learned which doors don't open and which ones do. I understand that bathrooms can have toilet paper in the stall, or not. But either way you shouldn't flush it. I never, ever, for any reason drink tap water. I put my shoes in a bag when I travel, to keep them from contaminating my other stuff. These are normal to me now.

This is not a big surprise, this is what happens when you live somewhere long enough. And this isn't really supposed to shock and amaze you. This is more for my own personal reflection.

One year ago today, I embarked on a journey across the world, to a place many thought was dangerous. And I survived, so far anyway. I stuck it out, even though I didn't want to sometimes. I braved the elements and never want to live through winter in Korea again. I taught I learned, I met people. It was fun. And I am glad I did it. AND you should do it too.

the end

Vacation

Man, this was the best vacation ever. I definitely spent WAY too much money, on things I probably didn't need, but really, most was spent on food. But too much either way. Our vacation got extended by two days due to a typhoon. I have never been so happy to see a storm.

We played on the beach, watched a lot of TV, went to some museums, slept, swam, played and relaxed. We are right now, sitting in a coffee shop, killing time til we go to the airport. We are on seperate flights on the way back. When they cancelled our other flight we had to reschedule and it was easier to find one seat than two. So that's fine with me... I'm a big girl. =P

I am getting so anxious to come home..... Eeek. It's so close now! Like, hardly any time left. I am starting to think I am running out of time to do all the last minute things I have been waiting to do. I already have a list of things I need to do before I leave....

I am excited to get back to my children... Even though I didn't really miss them at all this week. But I do not mind them. And I am excited about art class tomorrow! Hehee..

That is all for now.. see ya on the other side

Michelle

26 more days!!

I am currently in Jeju. Jeju is an Island in Korea. It is further south and so it feels more tropical. My roommate, Cleo, and i came down last Sunday and are returning to Seoul this coming Sunday. We have had a blast down here. Spent WAY too much money, but had a lot of fun. We went to the Teddy Bear museum, Ripley's believe it or not, we went ATV-ing, Go carting, and to the beach! I got the first and worst sunburn of my life. I have gotten what I thought were sunburns in the past, a couple times, like, seriously, two times, but this is MUCH worse. Last night I thought I was going to die. Thankfully it seems less burny today. I sure can sympathize with people now though. I never knew how awful it could be.

Last weekend we had summer camp with all the school in Korea. About 900 people came. It was quite busy, but also fun. Fun to see other teachers who we don't get to see very often, and fun to hang out and bond with the students who we don't get to really hang out with too much while at school. There is something about sharing one bathroom with 8 other women that really brings out the bonding.... lol. We had a lot of time to socialize while we waited our turn in there. Loooong nights, that's for sure.

There are only 26 days left, for me. I am excited and ready to come home. Looking forward to this next section of my life. Whatever it may bring. =-)

That's all for now

Michelle

45 more days. OH MY!

Apparently Korea only knows two kinds of weather in the summer. Insane rain, or insane heat. Having just finished about a month of torrential downpours, I woke up this morning, possibly in the middle of the night, sticky with sweat. And then when the sun woke me up this morning, I knew it would be a scorcher. Thing is I didn't really know what a scorcher was til I actually went outside. The humidity vanished and has been replaced by the MOST intense heat I have ever felt. I am sure being surrounded by concrete and pavement doesn't help, but I can feel it radiating on me even inside.

Things I have learned in Korea. They don't joke about weather. When it says it will be cold, it will be VERY COLD. When they say it will rain for a couple weeks, they mean it will RAIN, HARD, for a couple weeks. When they say in June, oh this isn't hot yet, it's because they know what's coming in July and August. Phew. The thing is... I don't have an air conditioner. I know, poor me. But seriously, poor me. In a strange, annoying way, I am kind of getting used to it. I guess living without it all the time makes you adjust. I find myself getting cold if the temperature dips below 27*C. I must be losing circulation, or I'm getting old. Or I caught what most of my ancestors seem to have had, constant coldness, even in extreme heat. Thanks ancestors. At this very moment it is 34 degrees, feels like 38. Which for you american folk is 93, but feels like 101. That is a pretty severe difference if you ask me. Also makes me confused. If it feels like 101, isn't the temp just 101? Why is it only 93... when it feels like, to everyone, 101? I don't understand that.

Yesterday I went with Karen, one of my orientation buddies, to Namsan tower. Also known as N Seoul Tower. We dressed up all fancy and Kenton came along for his fourth visit, and we got a reservation at the top of the tower at a revolving restaurant. It was very fancy. Small food that cost a lot of money. I actually had money left this month and I figured its something I will never do again and I am here, might as well splurge. It was delicious. However, I am not sure if it was the food, or something else, but my stomach is not overly excited today. I drank a cup full of charcoal... and Uhm, well, its been a painful day. I will spare you the nasty details. Last week I got another bug, or something, and ended up staying in bed for a day. Wasn't able to stand up without losing my food. So I think I am wearing out. I need a rest. Ha, such a Korean thing to say. They are always saying, "take a rest, why don't you take a rest". Mostly it means, take a break, or take a nap, or go to sleep. Anyway, I need SOME rest. Like possibly a month of it.

I have been researching getting a masters in education, emphasis on early childhood development. While it is daunting to think about, I kind of really want to do it. The thing is school always costs money. Which means I need a job first... then save for a while, Then go to school for a while, THEN get another job. Sounds like a terrible process. Baby steps... baby steps.

And for those of you wondering, my return date is Sept 1. Please don't be too anxious to see me, I plan on hibernating for at least a week before facing people and questions... My ticket has been purchased. It is an awful trip, this time made worse by multiple layovers and plane changes and so forth. I will be as good as dead when I finally make it to Chattanooga. But have no fear, after I have readjusted to normal life I will be around to see ALL of you... whoever you may be... if in fact we are friends/you still want to see me. That sort of thing =)

and that is all for now.

Michelle

It's raining, it's pouring...

I have literally NEVER seen so much continuous rain in my life. It has been raining, nearly all day everyday, for TWO WEEKS. WHY!?

And then today I woke up and my power was off. I woke up because I was suffocating because my fan turned off and there was no air circulation in my room. Tried to go back to sleep but it was like sleeping in a sauna. So I gave up and got up. But, what is there to do when you don't have any books, and the internet doesn't work? Go to Tabi, that's what.

Tabi is a super cute coffee shop right next to my apartment. It is run by a man and his wife who have traveled all over the world. In their travels they collected random stuff and so the decor in the coffee shop is very unique. Pictures and souvenirs from all over the place. And they happen to make the best french toast in the world! YUM.

So I have just been sitting here, for what seems like forever. Listening to the rain beat against the window and talking to random friends online. What a cool way to spend Sunday. Oh well, it's not like I had any plans anyway.

Today there are only 60 days left til I come home. I think... maybe its 59.. either way, its less than it was yesterday!

Today/yesterday was my Grandpa's Memorial service. I wish I could have been there to see the family and love everyone... But it's ok. I got to say goodbye and that's really what is important I think.

I don't have a lot to say actually.... I am just bored, really bored. Maybe I should go do something. I just can't think of anything to do.... It's raining... I have to walk everywhere. I don't want to spend any money... UGH!

I guess I will leave you out of my misery!

That's all from rainy Korea

Michelle

Day 69

Today was a hard day. Not only has it been raining for a week, with no end in sight, but this morning my dear Grampa died. He died peacefully in his sleep, with his wife and daughter nearby. I had often imagined what I would do when I receive the inevitable news that his body had finally given up the struggle, but my reaction was not something I could have planned for. I thought I would be happy, glad to know he was no longer in pain, but instead I was just so sad. So suddenly sad. I don't think I have ever spontaneously burst into tears before. All I could think about was, "how is this possible? He was supposed to never die." What a crazy thought to have. But am I crazy? To me Grampa ran the world. In some way I always thought he was in charge of everything. Time, probably; money, for sure; death, absolutely. He always seemed to make things happen, or not let things happen. I kind of always assumed that he could just do anything. And so when he started getting sick, I always just assumed he would get better. And he usually did. He would get very sick, we would all worry, and then bam! The next thing I would knew he was back to his usual self. I never thought there would be an actual end to him. Even today, while my sister calmly explained to me over Skype, what had happened, I felt like I was in shock. "Wait, it really happened?"

It took me a long time to get over that initial shock. And then I went to work and got hit with it again as everyone seemed to know and want to offer sympathy. Which I appreciated, but there is something about being told over and over how awful it must be, that makes it really truly awful. Then I never know what to say when someone says, "I'm so sorry for your loss". Thank you? I'm sorry too? *look away awkwardly and mumble*? I feel like everyone expects a fountain of tears, and then they can just hug you and move on... but if you don't produce the tears at that moment, then it becomes awkward.... you can't escape, they can't escape... no one knows what to do. THEN if you start crying some other random time they nod, like they had just been waiting for the dam to break. I know I do the same thing when faced with other people grieving... I just wish their was some kind of guide book that we could all read to learn how to deal in these situations. But then again, everyone needs different things. So who knows.

So all afternoon I fought the tears. They came and went. Sometimes I felt fine, and then without warning they would come back, full force. The strange thing is, whenever I thought about Grampa today I thought about him laughing in the sunshine. I have this picture of him in my mind, in Nova Scotia, out in the back yard. The sun is kind of going down, so everything is really bright and yellow and green, and he is laughing. I don't know what he is laughing at, or why, but he's just laughing. And it's summer and I can see the fuzz floating through the air, and its so quiet, except for his laugh. Or he's sitting in the living room, in his chair, taking a nap with his mouth wide open. Or he's petting Susie on the front step. Or he's painting....

I think I will always remember him fondly. He was one of the best. I still can't believe I won't get to see him again on this earth... Bye bye Grampa. I love you.

Today is day 69. only a little over two months to go here in Korealand. We are expecting a typhoon to come through this weekend. Should be exciting times. We had a typhoon last September. I think I blogged about the downed power line outside my apartment. Hopefully this years will be less exciting. Justin told me not to ride my bike, climb any trees or hang from the power lines during the Typhoon. I guess that's pretty solid advice ;-) I will try to let you know how it all pans out. I think that is all the blogging I have in me for tonight.

I hope wherever you are and whatever you are doing, you have people around you that love you. And shoulders to cry on, and arms to hold you. I hope that you are safe, and warm, and dry.

That is all.

Michelle

On the eve of the tenth month...

It's a balmy Wednesday evening in Korea, and I am feeling good =)

Currently listening to Brandon Flowers croon to me about how "although we had our problems, we were fine". It makes me think about farming for some reason. Now he's telling me how he "came here to get over you". Probable talking about me, that's the only thing that makes sense!

We have entered into a new phase of weather here in Korea. The locals call it spring. I call it hot. Its not even as hot as it's going to be yet, but already its messing with my sleep. I haven't closed my bedroom window in weeks. I moved my fan from the other side of the room, to the foot of my bed in an effort to get some air moving around me while I sleep. The problem is, up until last night I was not wanting to sleep with my door open. And so the air would not come in through the window. Heaps of noise would come in, but nary a breeze. So last night, despite my hate of open doors while sleeping, I propped my door open with an umbrella and went to sleep while soft breezes rustled around me. And I slept. It was delightful.

Today I started my new workout plan/schedule. I have been going to the gym fairly regularly since I have been here. I took a few months off during the harsh winter when it was too cold to go outside at all, but before that I went a lot and since then I go even more. So the working out is not so much the issue. The issue is I am tired in the evening, which is usually when I go to the gym. I am tired and then I am hungry, like a beast, afterwards. So I workout late, get all energized, eat a ton late at night then can't sleep. Terrible cycle. So today I decided to go to the gym during my break from 2:30pm- 5pm. Terrific idea. I went for about an hour and then came back, ate some food and took a shower and went back to school. And now that I have taught again for a couple hours, I still feel ok. I am not starving, and I don't have the dread of working out looming over my evening. Its quite nice. Plus, in the middle of the day there are less people at the gym. Not so many gawking men, who act like they have never seen a foreigner, let alone a female. It's very awkward usually. But not the case in the middle of the day. The only people there are there to focus on their workout, not sight see. Very refreshing.

There are only 77 more days left of my stay in this country. I can't believe its almost been an entire year. What a thing to do... live in Korea for a year. Craziness. I am very proud of myself for sticking it out. I was about to quit a couple times, but sheer stubbornness and the knowledge that I would have to live with myself as a quitter for the rest of my life, made me stick it out. Although I should be careful, its not really over yet! My religion students laugh at me when I tell them I have a countdown. They are such a great group. We have so much fun! I will miss them. Most of them have taken my religion class for the past few terms. One girl has taken it since I got here. That is dedication. But they are all very nice, very funny and smart. We have great discussions.

I have a bike now and ride it to school sometimes. At first I was a very nervous biker. I haven't really done a lot of biking since I broke my collar bone senior year. But, its just like riding a bike! Just get on and go! Easy. The thing that is more tricky/dangerous here, is that no one really owns the road. Its every man, woman and child for himself or herself. Ring your bell, then veer violently when they still step in front of you. Watch for cars and trucks of all shapes and sizes, trying to pass on both sides, from both directions, try not to run over the little old lady selling greens, and then, please don't kill any small children! This is my mission, every time I get on m bike. Don't get killed, and don't kill anyone. Of course I am not even going very fast... but all the hazards along the way make it feel much faster than it really is. (mom, please calm down) My bike has made life easier though. I can use it to haul groceries, which I have actually only done once, but it was great... So I am glad I have it. A girl who lived here before gave it to me when she left, so when I leave I will pass it on. Hopefully many teachers can use it. Its the giving bike =)

It's kind of hard to be here sometime when I see all the posts about people getting married and having babies, not because I wish I was doing that, but because I am missing out on it. I didn't get to go to their wedding, or see their brand new baby.. Makes me sad. I feel like I am missing out on a lot of friends lives being over here. And I knew that would happen. It happens anytime you move to a new place. Someone somewhere always gets left behind. Thank goodness for Facebook, keeping us all connected, whether you like it or not! But I am so glad I came here. I hardly remember the girl I was before I left. I know she wasn't as smart as this one. I feel like somehow I grew up being over here. I think I was stuck being a big baby/adult before, but I feel like I have finally crossed the line into actual adulthood. Who would have thought that would happen while teaching a bunch of babies! The memories might fade, and I might forget some things I saw, or did, but the lessons, that's what sticks with you forever. And I have learned a lot =) So that is good news I think.

And so, on the eve of the tenth month, I sit here in the gathering gloom, spilling my guts out to all you people who read this. Knowing you read this has kept me going sometimes.. Thanks =) I hope that if you ever get a chance to do something like this, that you won't hesitate. Any age, doesn't matter. If you want to do it, DO IT. Suck up all the fears you have and get way out of your comfort zone and learn about another culture. No one expects you to feel fine right away, life is a journey... right? You learn along the way, while meeting really interesting, fantastic, loving, smart, funny and different people. So yeah. DO IT!!!

That is all.

Michelle

Rant.

I need to rant for a second.

Korean girls can wear shirts and call it a dress. They will wear shorts and heels and that's ok. They can prance all over the earth in the shortest skirts known to humankind and that's fine. They can wear off the shoulder, open necked shirts. They can even wear tank tops, but only if coupled with longer pants. BUT the second I step out of my apartment wearing a very modest tank top and shorts, on the hottest day so far, I get yelled at by all the old women. REALLY? And I don't care what logic you feel like you want to share with me about this. But I will tell you this. I turned around and went home, put on a big baggy shirt, with the same shorts again, and went out and no one even gave me a second glance. And I passed by many girls wearing MUCH less than me. KOREA stop holding me to your double standard!!

Its upsetting. I am going to spend the whole summer being awkward in my own skin. I am not excited about this.

And another thing. Just because I don't look like you, doesn't give you the right to talk to me endlessly. I was sitting in McDonalds the other day, eating some fries and noticed there was a lady standing off to the side, just talking to me. On and on and on. I clearly am not responding. I shook my head and said no. She came closer, yap yap yap. This happens a lot. Maybe next time I will just get up and stand OVER her and talk in English, on and on and see how she likes it. Seriously making me mad.

That's it for the moment. =)

I've been to Korea.

5:45am comes too late when you can't fall asleep. And yet I still managed to hop out of bed and eat running on only about two solid hours of sleep.

Why on earth would I wake up at 5:45 on a Sunday? To climb a rock of course.

Cleo and I went and met one of Cleo's students, Judy, at the train station at 6:30am. These Koreans like to get a head start on the world. We rode the subway for about an hour to a place called Dobong Mountain. Which is famous, by the way.

Then we walked through the preday fog to the trail leading to the base of the peak and proceeded to hike up a million stairs for about an hour and a half. I am not talking a leisure walk through the woods. This is hard core, up a steep hill for miles. Oh did I mention that Koreans like to be prepared? So we were all carrying backpacks. Mine had my lunch in it, and then an extra pair of shoes Judy had brought me. Cleo ended up taking a pack that was supposed to be mine, that they so kindly packed for me. I am not even sure what was in it. I can hike, don't get me wrong. I can even climb a lot of stairs if I have to. But I don't like doing it super fast, and definitely not with a backpack full of hiking boots on my back.

But anyway... back to my story. We hiked up this trail for a good long while. Then, just as I thought I might actually die from drowning in my own sweat, we were at the base of the summit.

We geared up to take on the rock face. I got hooked up with a really nice harness and some climbing shoes and a helmet and then we climbed a small rock to wait for our fearless leader man to climb the first section. We were doing something I have never done before. Where you climb up... then the next person climbs up and the first person belays them and then so on.... until everyone is up, then you all come down. It's like a giant team sport. Anyway as he was climbing I saw a hawk, perched way up above him, just kind of watching the whole thing. Then suddenly two hawks started screaming and diving at him as he was climbing. Apparently he was getting a little too close to their nest. So he backed up and tried a different route. Wouldn't you know but another set of hawks started attacking him. Full force. They dove and screamed and hit him with their bodies. We could hear the sound of them colliding with his helmet. So he backed down again. He told us after he got down that he could see the nest right beside him and that it had a baby bird in it. I guess they had good reason to scream at him.

Clearly we were not going to be climbing at this particular location so we set off back to find a different one. We went back a different way that involved climbing down a rope and a lot of sliding.

We finally got to a place where we could climb and started the process all over again. I was second last to climb. So I got to watch how everyone else did it. And then it was my turn! I scampered up the first section, and then got worn out and confused for a little while, did some flailing around, used my head and figured it all out and made it to the top. With almost all my skin. So then I clipped in at the top and waited while the last person came up. Then climbed up the second section. It was much more challenging. I had to wedge my foot in a crack, then put my hands in the same crack to form a kind of triangle with my body. Then using gravity somehow, crawl up the crack, sideways. Yes. It is confusing to do, let alone explain. Anyway I figured it out and it wasn't as hard as I had thought.

Then we came down. Ate some fantastic food and took a break. I thought I was done, but the men had other ideas. They thought we should climb MORE. So I went one more time. It was a crazy course. I went straight up this big flat thing. I am not even sure how I did it. A lot of wall hugging and shimmying. I will be oh so sore tomorrow. Good thing there is now school.

The trek down was much easier and we got back to the bottom in good shape. Literally, my thighs and butt felt like they were on fire. I wiped out once on the trail going down and almost slid right over the edge of the path. But stopped and grabbed the rail before that happened. That would have been exciting.

And so that was my epic adventure. Judy said, "You haven't really been to Korea unless you climbed Dobong mountain." So now I guess I can say I was in Korea. Wheee!

the end

Michelle

Day 100

This is day 100. Tomorrow will be day 99. And so the countdown begins. Again. This seems like a much better countdown though. I like it because it seems smaller, even though the number is much bigger. Maybe some of you can relate. Maybe you can't.

I really like being here. I really like my job. I really like the kids and my schedule and my apartment and my gym. But, I really miss home. There is something about home that is just so much better than Korea. Can't really put my finger on it. But it's big. And it's drawing me back.

I have enjoyed these 265 days so far. They have not been terrible. In fact they have sometimes even been fun. But... I must say, nothing is as exciting as thinking about coming home again. Ahhh.

I miss my bed. I miss grocery shopping for things I can pronounce. I miss eating food I like. And I miss driving a car. I dream about driving all the time. It's kind of annoying.

And thats all for now. I am sure this countdown will be headline news for a while now.

Goodnight

Michelle

Full-term, fully developed Korealand-experience-child.

Full-term, fully developed Korealand-experience-child.

Or month nine of our time in Korea. Or I guess I should say, MY time in Korea. Since Christina packed up and headed home after eight months.

I like Korea much better these days. No horrible encounters with strange people, less stress, more sunshine. All these things make me realize there are things I will miss about Korea, but this is not the time to think about leaving. I still have 108 days to go. Yes, I have a daily countdown now. Actually it's more of a weekly day-countdown post... but whatever. Getting close to single digits and thats fun.

The other day I cleaned and organized my room. This whole time I have been here I have been living in a slightly chaotic, haphazard way. My drawers are a mess and my closet had more things in a pile on the floor than hanging. So I decided, after nine months of living this way, that is was time to get cleaned up. So I hung things, straightened, sorted, threw out, folded and rearranged. And it is amazing. I can find things I am looking for, things are in their logical places, life is good! Hopefully I can continue to keep it this way and not backslide into disaster zone again.

Today I decided to let my creative juices flow onto some t-shirts. I bought some fabric spray paint the other day and have been itching to use it. So today I turned a shirt, that I bought and immediately hated, into my new art project. It turned out better than I could have hoped. I have aways to go with learning how to stencil and then spray paint effectively so there are not bleed through marks, but it was was fun anyway. I can always wear it to the gym, or working anyway so it does not matter. BUT I actually think it turned out pretty cool. If you want to see it, check out my facebook.

This weekend was my weekend off so I slept in and it was nice. Cleo, my roommate, and I went to a Korean wedding on Saturday afternoon. It was very different than any wedding I have ever been to. First, you sit at tables that are set ready for eating, during the ceremony. As soon as the ceremony was over waiters came and began serving us a five course meal. It was quite nice. While we were eating, the bride and groom took photos with their family and friends and then changed clothes and walked the catwalk while everyone applauded. It was interesting. I liked the style. I like the idea that you don't have to change venues to eat.. that you don't even have to move. So while your pictures are being taken everyone can just eat and then leave, or hang out for an after party. No one needs to hang around starving for an hour while you wander around getting pictures taken, and also starve. Something to think about for the future!

Sarah stayed over Saturday night so we could do some shopping and some pizza eating. I enjoyed having her over. I feel honored that she would tear herself away from her new boyfriend to come hang out with lil' ol' me!

The end!

Michelle

The end of April

This past week I made the terrible trip across the globe to see my grandparents. I haven't seen them in a while and it seemed like the time to visit again. I got in on Wednesday night after travelling all day and all night. Got to spend a lot of time with them over the weekend. I left Sunday morning to travel back. It was a hard visit. Both good and bad. But I am glad I did it. Sometimes you just gotta do these things.

I did get to see some friends also.... it makes me want to move back to Canada when I see family and friends that I haven't seen in a long time. Especially when I find new friends, that I never realized I had, in cousins I've had forever. (Brandon!)

I wrote a letter for my Grampa. I put it on this blog.... Not because I want everyone to have an opinion about it, but because it is the way I feel and that is what I put on here. If you don't want to read it, please don't. If you do, than that's fine too. Gramma, I hope you will read it to him for me. =)

So now I am back in Korealand for another four months. It sounds short, but feels like it will never end. Christina is leaving tomorrow, which is a marking point I have been counting down to. My calendar is sitting here, within easy reach so I can mark off each day as it finishes. This has been an experience, I am glad I did it, but I will be glad when it's over too.

The weather has gotten lovely over here, all warm and colorful. The trees are all green and the flowers are popping up everywhere. I am glad. Winter was terrible.

And that is all I have to say tonight.

~Michelle

Dear Grampa,

I can't begin to tell you how much I love you. When I think back on my childhood you are always part of the memories that make me smile. From the time I was very little I know I always looked up to you with a mixture of fear and admiration. You could do anything. Build anything, tear it down, burn it all up, paint it, or kill it. And then on the other hand, you could be kind, and gentle, loving and generous, funny, or talented.

So many things I will never forget. You taught me how to ride the lawnmower, only in 2nd gear, of course. You paid me to collect potato bugs in the garden, you taught me golf. I was never allowed to help paint the house, even though it was only one colour. I remember you burning everything. A bees nest (they weren't too happy) the dog house, the yard, the forest, the trash. I remember The Trading Bag. The tricky way you used to get us to give you the coolest stuff and then we would end up with a bar of soap, or a button. You playing the keyboard, singing. Laughing, sleeping with your mouth wide open (catching flies). Remodeling our house for us, and killing snakes.

You never seemed to age, defied death by beating all the odds. Heart transplant, illness, kidney failure, skin cancer. It never seemed to slow you down or make you give up. And I think that is the thing I admire the most. The thing I have learned from you and the thing I will never let go of.

Some people say that you and I are alike. That you are where I get my spunk. I take it as a compliment. To be compared to a man as great as you. I hope I can always measure up.

I want to tell you that you did good, you are one of the very best people I know. I can't wait to be with you in heaven where there will never be any need to slow down, or be careful. Where you can live out to your true potential. And I am confident of that above all else. That I will see you there, if not again here. Because not only are you a good man, you are a Godly man. I have always known this to be true. And even now, in the face of so many hardships, I can tell that God is a faithful companion. You inspire me to be great, to live better and to hang onto Jesus. You inspire me to stick out terrible situations and hang on for something better. You mean so much to me and I wanted to let you know.

You have done so much, touched so many lives. Not only of your grandchildren, but of everyone around you. I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate it. And how much I love you. Always have, always will. And I want you to know that you don't have to worry about me, or any of us anymore. I learned from the best and I feel like I can take on the world because I knew you.

This seems corny, a lame way to say anything. But I couldn't find the words when I was with you. There were too many things running around in my head. So I hope you understand what I am saying. That you can hear through my words and get my real meaning.

Love,

Michelle

Month Eight (8) Ate

Yesterday was officially month eight of our time in Korea. Parts of me still can't believe it's been that long and at the same time I feel like I have been here for years. Time is tricky.

Time can either make you or break you. It can wear you down or build you up. There never seems to be enough time, especially when there is an end point in sight. Time can seem like it is never ending when you are waiting for something. Time can make you sick, make you laugh, make you cry. Change your mind, change your heart, change your habits, change your character. Time can heal all wounds, or create entirely new ones. Tricky tricky...

Spring is here. And it is lovely. I can almost forget how terrible the winter was when I see all the trees bursting into color and life again. The sun is so hot already that I can tell soon summer will bake us all. But it is nice right now while the air is still cool, but the sun is warm. Makes for perfect outdoor activity weather.

The thing I really like about Korea is that they have very separate seasons. You can tell where one begins and another finishes. Something that Tennessee has trouble with. We had fall, it got progressively colder until winter was here. Then we had winter, which was consistently frigid. No fooling around, getting warmer and then colder again, it just stayed COLD. No rain, no strange weather, just pure coldness. Then one day, magically, spring came and now it is progressively getting warmer. Which leads me to believe that summer will be insanely hot, with no relief, just like winter was cold with no relief.

I am counting down the days until I get to go home. Back to things that are easy and familiar. Back to English, fat people and venti coffee. Back to traffic rules that apply to ALL people, sidewalks not stained with mucus, malls that don't have 16 stories, wide open spaces and trees!!

And that is all I have to say about month 8. More to come...

Michelle

Refreshing Reconnection's~ Retreat!

The Teachers Retreat was amazing. Best thing that could have happened right now. Not only was it SO nice to get away from all the teaching responsibilities and hang out with a lot of other teachers and friends, but it was a nice spiritual revival.

We arrived at the English Village at about 12pm and found out that we could not go to our rooms until 4:30. That's a lot of time to wander around and entertain yourself when you don't really have a plan. So we played mini golf, went for some walks, climbed a roof, played ping-pong and watched some soccer. And before we knew it they told us we could now move into our freshly cleaned rooms. The rooms were like dorm rooms and the buildings were called dormitories. It felt kind of like being in high school or camp meeting. Christina and I were placed in Purple Coneflower. We shared a room with two other girls and slept on bunk beds with plastic feeling blankets that made a terrific amount of noise every time we moved.

The first meal seemed to smell like something delicious and silly people that we are decided it would be amazing to have haystacks... but alas it was only rice. Of course! After supper we had a vespers-like program with Pastor Hillary Baatjies. Who is a South African man who used to work in Korea. He was amazing. He had very funny stories and illustrations but more than that he had a very fantastic message. It was all focused on Psalms. A great deal of it had to do with forgiveness and how we cannot ask God for forgiveness unless we have stopped making excuses for the sin. He also talked about how God takes care of us and how God is real. I wish I had taken some notes, but it was powerful. I think we all really needed to hear it. I know I listened with every part of my soul the whole time.

After the first meeting we broke into groups and had some prayer time, praying for the Language program and Korea and the world. Then we all went to bed. But not to sleep. The beds were extremely hard, even harder than I have become used to over here. Combined with people talking in the living room area of the dorm, doors opening and closing, our toilet that sounded possessed and the heat, it was a restless night.

Sabbath morning came really early. Breakfast was at 7am. Which is earlier than I have gotten up this whole year. Sabbath school was pretty good. Some of the teachers from other schools did skits about pride and how Satan tries to trick us into sinning using various methods. It was humorous and very powerful at the same time. Then we had a very chaotic lesson study time where everyone just tried to yell over everyone else and no one heard anything.

After sabbath school we had church. Another excellent message from Pastor Hillary. This time I think he focused on Psalms 51. All about David and Bathsheba and how David is crying out to God to forgive him, with a contrite heart.

Then we took a group picture. And got in line for lunch. The exciting news that we were actually having haystacks for lunch, spread down the line like crazy. Everyone was really excited about it. After we ate there we went back to church for another worship thought and then communion. Christina's institute was in charge of communion. It was the first time in a really long time that I participated in communion, and in the foot washing. Normally I skip that part. But I got thinking about it and why do I skip it? Usually because I can't be bothered to find a partner and actually do it. Too much work. WHAT? Once a month, or whatever its too HARD for me to get out of my comfort zone, get down on my knees and wash some girls feet? What is wrong with me. So I thought it was time for a change. Sarah and I were partners and it was actually quite nice.

Then we had reconnecting time. Which was code for, free time! So Sarah, Kenton, Arron, Christina, Matt and I decided to climb one of the mountains surrounds the village. So we did. IT was a pretty much straight up climb and I don't know what came over me but I almost just ran up it. My legs and lungs were on fire, but I couldn't stop. I think maybe my body was just overjoyed with the idea of being outside, in the sun and fresh air, that it didn't care that I wasn't used to such an intense hike. But we made it to the top and back down safely. And even had fun!

Then it was time for supper and another wonderful surprise, spaghetti. I wasn't even hungry. Climbing should have left me famished, but it left me feeling tired and not hungry instead.

After supper we had another worship thing and then it was off to game night. SO MUCH FUN. I found Dutch Blitz in the pile of games that were out to play and I found some other people and then the MOST intense games of Dutch Blitz happened. I almost lost my voice from it all. It was really really fun. We probably played for an hour or so. Then I also played some other group games and then it was time for bed. Except not really. I think some people stayed up the entire night. Which is understandable. We never see each other and it is super fun... but I was so tired. But, again the stupid bed and noise made my night... terrible.

Woke up again, super early for breakfast. Packed up all our gear and headed down the hill. After breakfast had another fantastic worship thing, which my dead tired brain somehow absorbed. At the end we all stood and sang Side by Side. Awe!! I remember at camp when we sang that song, always trying to get next to the guy I liked so I could hold his hand for a couple minutes... haha.. Not so much this time. This time it was just nice to be with other people, singing... and standing there, together. For a minute I actually forgot I was in Korea.

And then it was time to say goodbye and head home. And the same feeling of sad empty that comes over you at the end of camp meeting, came swooping over me. Back to real life again. Out of the happy English Bubble we were having so much fun in. =(

And that was the weekend, summarized... of course.

I'd like to think that I am ready for this coming week and the weeks to follow and even the months. But truth is I am tired of being here. No amount of retreats can make up for being at home. But there are only four more months to go. I know I can make it. And I will be glad I stuck with it, someday.

Sometimes God has to take us through something, to get us TO something. And that is my closing thought for this blog.

~Michelle

Thursday

Today I got to sleep in till the super late hour of 10:30am. That almost never happens on a Thursday. Got up, showered and headed out into rainy, dreary Korea to meet up with the other teachers from our institute. We jumped in the van and rode to a delicious seafood buffet. Where we all got bonuses and gorged ourselves on the most delicious seafood assortment ever.

We actually had a lot of fun just hanging out in the restaurant. I learned a new way to play thumb wars. When your thumb gets trapped by your opponent they can slap your hand until you escape their thumb. It takes the thumb war to a whole new level of craziness. We were all laughing hysterically.

Then we headed out to go bowling. Also super fun, but ridiculous. I think it has been almost a year since I last bowled, and I have never been a pro bowler anyway so I was pretty bad. Or I might even say, Terrible. I think I got a 94. That was my last game. The first game I think I got a whopping 52 or something terrible. Really really bad. I should probably practice my bowling skills sometime.

After that we were all tired and ready to get home. Cleo and I made a trip to EMart to buy supplies for tomorrow's epic retreat and then we all just kind of wandered off to our respective rooms to rest and warm up. Rain is miserable.

And that is about it for today I think =)

Michelle

Retreat

This week was extra super short. We have a teachers retreat this weekend all classes are cancelled from now til Monday. We are all really excited about this. Not only do we get two days off school, a whole weekend off and a chance to get away, but we also get to hang out with all the other foreign teachers that are over here. Some that we haven't seen in ages and ages. I am excited!

I don't really have any new exciting or scary stories to tell.

This will probably be the shortest blog ever. I guess I just want to let you know that I will probably not be in contact again til next week. Like, no internet communication on Friday or Saturday! Try to live without me =P

the end

Michelle

5:57 am

So, I've been having such a problem waking up in the morning for the past, oh, seven months. Which makes me almost late sometimes, since I feel like I've been hit by a Mack truck every am. Well. Last night, I was praying and I asked God if He could help me wake up, and then, if I was awake I could have time for to read my Bible too. Didn't think much of it and set my alarm for 6:15 am.

5:57 am. I'm having a nightmare, as I do. Something about tigers getting out of their cages, a long hill I have to walk up carrying a leaking duffle bag full of Dr. Pepper that's quickly losing it's fizz and a building when I finally get to the top of the hill full of lackluster Christians and visible manifestations of demons. You know. Just a regular Monday night terror. I start quoting Romans 8:38 to the silly faux-Christians in my dream. "Hey people, don't you know that these silly "ghosts" can't hurt you. Neither death nor life, angels nor demons..." I wake up, full adrenaline going, because as much as I'm quoting Paul here, I'm terrified of demons. I'm also terrified to look at my alarm clock, since it probably says 2:35 or something retarded like that. 5:57 am. Oh, wait... Ok, God you want me to... Yep. Got it. So I read Romans 8 this morning.

All things work together for good, for those who love him and are called according to his purpose...

~Christina

Just another manic Monday

I brush my teeth either squatting over the drain in my bathroom, or while conditioning my hair in the shower. When I want to wash my hands, I hike up my pants, put on rubber shoes and stand as far away from the faucet as possible. Lean in, wash as fast as possible and get out before the back splash can find me. When I want to clean my bathroom I simply remove the shower head from the wall and spray down the entire area.

When I walk down the street I look for spit on the sidewalk. I carry my umbrella if it's even cloudy. the acid rain will make me go bald otherwise. Or so the legends say... I try not to gag as I pass drains. I watch for scooters shooting out of side alleyways.

I had a really scary thing happen to me on the subway the other day. I hesitate to tell you because I fear the response I will get, but I want to tell anyway.

I was riding from my place to Christina's place, it takes about an hour on the train. I have done this trip many times, and had already done it once that day. It was about 10pm Saturday and the train wasn't very full anymore. I had an empty seat on either side of me. A drunk man entered the car I was in and stood on the other side, facing away from me, yelling at the window. No one seemed to care much, just moved further away from him. I was listening to music, so I just kept my eye on him and sat there. The next thing I know he comes over and sits down beside me. This makes me uncomfortable. So I shift away from him, trying to let him know I am not interested in talking to him. He appears to be about 75 and reeks of alcohol. So I am not paying attention to him until he starts yelling AT me and hitting me on the shoulder, arm and chest area. Then I got worried. I didn't really know what to do. I tried to tell him no, and that I didn't speak Korean. I thought that if I got up he might try to follow me. I couldn't get off the train, we were moving and there were at least other people around if I stayed. So I just kind of sat there and got more and more alarmed as he continued to yell at me and hit me. Then a woman a couple seats down came and grabbed me and motioned for me to follow her so I did. We moved across the isle and sat down. Then this crazy old man followed and sat down right across from me and started yelling at me again. At this point I was about to burst into tears. What did he want? I have no idea... he was just yelling and pointing. And I didn't know what to do. Thankfully the woman came back and motioned for me to follow and I followed her into another car where there were tons of people. She stuck me down in amongst a bunch of hikers that had all kinds of gear piled around them, so I kind of sunk in and tried not to be too noticeable. Thankfully I didn't have much further to go. I called my friend Kenton when I got to my station and he came and met me at the door so I didn't have to walk anywhere by myself. I felt a little rattled and wasn't too sure I could handle any more encounters with the crazies that night.

So I am alright. There is not a lot that could have been done to prevent that situation. And I don't know what I will do in the future. The subway is the main form of transportation here and it is actually the safest place to be most of the time. So I guess I will just practice up my karate skills and next time beat up some old guys.

I am getting pretty sick of being here. I like it alright, but I am really over all the unnecessary attention. I miss being able to blend in and be normal. I miss being average and boring. I can't wait to just be another random white girl, who speaks the same language as everyone else and who wears jeans and tshirts and is happy with it.

And that is it for now. All my random thoughts thrown out there for you all to read and freak out about =)

michelle

New year.

I guess I have been slacking with the blogging. I apologize to any faithful followers! It's been a hectic month or so.

Let me start after the last post I made. I went to TN to visit my favorite guy, Justin. I wasn't planning on visiting with any family because 1) I didn't know if my mom would even be around 2) if she wasn't in TN by then I didn't want her to feel bad, 3) I was lazy.

But once I got there and found out she had made it to the States I felt I must go surprise her. It was the right thing to do. So Justin drove me over to their place and I think I scared her. She was in the stairwell sweeping cobwebs off the ceiling I think, and wouldn't come when my dad called her. So I went over there and true to form, she did her shrieking thing that she does. That kind of half yelp, gaspy laugh thing. If you know her, you know what I am talking about. (love you mommy!!) We had a nice little visit after she got over the fact that I was standing in her country.

The trip there was horrendous. I am not a fan of travelling for 24 hours, crossing international time lines, layovers, airplanes, or even flying in general. The first flight was short, just hopped over the sea to Japan to sit in the airport for a couple hours. Then the second flight was TERRIBLE. I was stuck beside a slightly wide man. He wasn't really obese, just massive. I was also trapped by the window so getting in and out to stretch, use the bathroom etc, was not fun, or easy. Got there on the same day we left, after travelling all through the night. Talk about confusing your body. Time travel sucks!

But I had a nice time, it was worth it. If only to smell the sweet sweet air of America for a few days. To drive through the country where you can see for miles without any buildings getting in the way... To eat food I could recognize, and pronounce.... Ah, it was perfect. Every part of it! And it was far too short. The trip back wasn't as bad. I took some sleeping pills and had a whole row to myself so I slept most of the way. Which really was great because I had hardly any jetlag.

Back to Korea. It was almost like coming home. And that bothered me. It smelled bad and there are far too many people everywhere, but somehow it has become a place I can stand. I can say without cringing, too much, that I live in Korea.

Then the new year began. And that has been truly overwhelming. Not only do we have a whole new batch of kids that can hardly speak, we have a whole new batch of teachers. And I am not saying they are bad teachers, but it is frustrating to be used to a certain way of doing things, and then all of a sudden switch. My class that used to be manageable with the old teacher, now has learned they can get away with almost anything with the new teacher. So of course, I got super sick at the end of the first week. Fever, so tired I could hardly move. I thought I had the flu. Turns out I just needed to sleep, for about 20 hours. So I did that. I got in about an hour at Kinderest, sleeping in the library, then went home and slept from 5:30 til 9 pm. got up, ate some food, took a shower and went back to bed until 3 pm the next day. It was fantastic.

I felt like a new human after that. Like I could tackle anything. Too bad you can't just store up sleep and use it when you get low later. This week wasn't as bad, so maybe things are evening out. My violet class is the worst. They used to be tough when they were Pink. Now they are just horrendous. Like, out of control, terrible, awful, very bad, no good. It is tiring just being in the same area as them. And yet somehow I still enjoy it?

Which brings me to my next point, which I am sure as soon as I say it out loud will stop being what I want. I really want to teach. Like for a real job, when I get back to the states. I want to somehow get early childhood education stuff and be a preschool teacher. And teach kids that can understand my language. Ahhhh... that would be delightful. But I really like teaching this age. They are fantastic. So there's that.

Hmmm, what else. Oh, on Wednesday we passed the 7 month mark. We are officially on the homeward stretch. Ahh. I am very happy about that. It has been a long half a year.

And that about does it.

Michelle

This is month six.

Today is the official six month mark of our time in Korea. I know I already blogged about the six month mark, but I thought I should write something on the actual day.

This week has been full of craziness. We are coming to the end of the school year at Kinderest so all kinds of things are happening. For one, report cards. I never thought, in my wildest dreams that I would be a person who worked on a Saturday night... but I found myself this past Saturday night cranking out report cards... And then tonight I did more. Another thing that is happening the teachers are all wrapping up their stuff to move out of their classrooms and it feels like we are coming to the end of something. It is both exciting and nerve wracking.

Tonight was also my last night of religion class for this term so my student, yes singular, and I went out to a coffee shop to chat. It's called tea time and Korean's LOVE it. So we went at 6pm because that is when our class meets. We were there until 9pm. Talk about a long class, it usually only runs an hour at the most. We talked about everything under the sun. We talked about our cultures mostly and how different they are.

For example, Korean children live at home until they get married. Especially women. My student is probably mid thirties and she still lives at home. But get this, not only does she live at home, her mother still does her laundry, cooks for her, cleans her room and on top of all that, she doesn't have to pay any rent. Can you imagine? I cannot. Mom, can you even imagine still doing my laundry? I feel like you stopped doing that a hundred years ago. I have been doing my own laundry forever. And cleaning my room.

So she starts in on this thing about how Korean women are super women. And I jsut sat there in shock. She said, "Korean woman has to clean house, do the dishes, take care of the children, cook, and on top of that she should have a job. It is very difficult to be a Korean woman." And I was just... I don't even know the word for what I felt. Her MOTHER still does her laundry for her. PLEASE. She has nothing to complain about. Then she told me it is the same for guys too. So then it began to make sense to me why so many Korean couples get married and then have serious problems... If a man lives his whole life having his mother take care of him, then gets married and expects his wife to take over that role, while marrying a Korean girl who has also never had to do a darn thing in her whole life... I feel like that makes for a seriously tense and disastrous situation.

One of the main things Korean's say when I ask them about what happens in relationships, is they say that the expectations are too high. Or too different. And I can see it. While they are dating it is all gravy. They just go out, they never spend any time in the same area with each other, never cook together, or do anything remotely real. They live in a dream, a fluffy, romantic, dream world. But then they get married and move into a place that they have to actually take care of and BAM, real life hits them. I can't even imagine how shocking that must be.

So I told my student how I have lived on my own for a long time and she was shocked. How can you live alone, who cooks for you? haha. How can you take care of a house and have a job and live? Well, I am also superwoman? I don't really ever have an answer, but she looked at me like I was amazing and I couldn't help but laugh at her. How does she live... this is my question.

Anyway, so it was an informative three hours in a coffee shop. Tea Time is my favorite, its the time when you get to connect with a person on a real level. Find out what they are actually like and I think that is how you really learn about a culture. You can visit all the places that are "Korean" . You can see all the sites, you can go to all the cultural places, but if you never take the time to talk to an actual human being you miss out on the actual Korean experience. You can see all the things that are "important" but never see the human side of it. And then I am pretty sure you miss the whole point of being in another country. Humanism. It may be basic, but thats basically the point of life =)

That is all.

~Michelle

Happy Sabbath!

It's almost my birthday! In fact, in two days I'll be a whole year older. Except in Korean age. In Korean age I'm already 26. Yuck. :)

Someone asked me yesterday how I think it'd be to celebrate my birthday in Korea. I had to stop and think about that for a second, because honestly, it doesn't seem any different to me. I've gotten used to living in Korea, to being so far away from home. I enjoy it, in fact. Well, most of the time.

This past week went by quickly. It's always nice when that happens. And it was warmer too. I really can't wait for spring. For being able to go outside without sixteen layers. All in good time, I suppose.

Anyway, just wanted to say Happy Sabbath to everyone back home. Miss you, love you!

~Christina

Almost six months.

So technically the six month mark isn't until next Wednesday, but I feel like I want to write about it now.

There are a few things that I am used to now that I was not six months ago. I will now compile a list of these things.

• I do not flush toilet paper. Ever.
• I am not afraid of traffic driving on the sidewalk. (cars, scooters, vans, etc.)
• I can get home in a taxi, alone, and not get lost.
• I can order coffee, completely in English, from a person who speaks only Korean and get exactly what I want, with an extra shot of espresso, thank you very much.
• I can walk as fast and sometimes faster than the average Korean.
• I can navigate the sidewalk with minimal person-to-person collisions.
• I can travel to several places on the subway without having to pull out my map every stop.
• I can stand on the train and hold multiple things and not fall over.
• I can even fall asleep on the train and wake up when it's my stop. (not an easy task)
• I have mastered the art of wrapping my entire face in a scarf, covering my ears and most of my head, but not my eyes.
• I can navigate E-Mart on a Sunday.
• I can walk past the drain outside my apartment without totally gagging at the stench wafting from it.
• Korean ramen is not only super cheap, but also super useful for clearing your nasal passageways.

This is only a sample really. There are dozens of things that I do now that I would never have though possible before. Things like wearing stripes and plaid together and being told I look good. Or walking for miles in heels, or wearing an ugly Korean jacket and liking it.

I think I would say that I am pretty comfortable in my surroundings by now. The internet has become my best friend and forums have become a second Bible to me. I can find almost anything out on forums. But, just because I am comfortable enough to walk down a street or order coffee, doesn't mean I miss home any less. But now I am beginning to see that it might be hard to leave this place too. I wish that all the people I have ever met, the good ones anyway, could all be collected in one place. With all the coolest parts of each place where I met them and we could form a new country that isn't missing anything. That would be really cool.

So there are only about six months left to go, for me anyway. I have the spring and summer to look forward to. I am excited about what that will bring. I miss being warm. I think that's the thing that is so appealing about living in a place with such an intense winter, it makes you appreciate warmth so much more. I like it when I walk outside and its only -1 instead of -20. The sun actually starts to feel warm... Its amazing.

I think that's the end for now. Happy Sabbath to all of you, wherever you are and whatever you are doing, I hope it is good and you are loving life.

~Michelle

Hump Day

I am tired. This week is already too long.

There is not a lot that is new... Sorry we haven't blogged in a while. Days have started to mesh together and are all piled up in my brain with nothing really separating them. So I will spare you the boring inner disaster that is my mind right now and just tell you all is well.

It is Christina's birthday on Monday, Feb. 14. Little valentines baby =)

Other than that, we are working on month 6, it's all downhill from here. I am excited to be on the homeward stretch finally. Spring is trying to come to Korea... its the beginning, where once and a while a warmish day pops up to remind you that all is not lost... I can tell things are thawing because the terrible smells are returning. The only nice part about the negative 20 weather all winter was that it froze all the bad smells.

I am moving rooms in a couple weeks. I get to have the big room now instead of the tiny closet room I have been living in. Part of me would just stay in this room, but then I remember how terrible it was in the summer with the loud noises outside. My new room is on a much quieter side of the apartment.

And thats about it!

~Michelle~

River Constantine

Nearly every Friday night, I come home after vespers exhausted, drained from the week. I take a shower, light some candles, turn on some Jars of Clay, and write in my journal.

Tonight, the lyrics from one of their songs caught my attention.

"Carry me, Your love is wider than my need could ever be
Come to me, and I will walk along Your shore
Feel Your crashing waves sing in time with the music of my heart ...

River deep, could I know You as well as You know me?"

Every day, I teach a religion class. I pray at the beginning, for the ability to develop English skills and to learn about the Bible. I pray at the end to bring us back safely again the next day. Every day, I go to Kinderest and I teach screaming, snotting, silly children and I try to love them. Every Friday after vespers, when I don't think I can possibly give any more, I lead a small discussion group and I correct English and we talk about God. And, through all of this, I try to be a good teacher, a good Christian, a good friend. And most of the time, I feel I fail miserably. I am tired all the time. I am sick most of the time. I don't have enough smiles or enough time or enough energy to do everything I feel I should. Still, I try.

There are so many things I think I need. An extra hour (or three) of sleep, breakfast burritos, time to watch TV and relax, someone to talk to after I've had what feels like the longest day of my life. My needs feel so monumental at each and every moment, and yet, God says His love is wider and deeper and grander and more complete than my need could ever be. This is beyond my comprehension.

~~Christina

Dilemma

Alright, time to blog!

The whole time I have been here I have been planning on leaving Kinderest at the 6 month mark because I want to experience all of Korea. However, I have been offered MORE hours if I stay and better overall work load situation. I would work 5 hours at Kinderest, which gives me a slight raise, and then a fixed religion class time and then possibly no more Vespers presentations. I am still interested in another job, the Kinderest Coordinator position, but they have changed it from being a full time job to being part-time and I am not sure I want to do that. So I have a couple options that I need to figure out by next Friday. If I leave Kinderest I will be giving myself a huge pay reduction, because teaching adults does not pay as well as teaching Kindergarten. If I stay I won't have to move... If I leave, I get to move. Its a tough decision. Please pray for me!

Hmm, in other news... I am doing Vespers tomorrow night, so that has been stressing me out a little this whole week. I think it should be fine, but preparing for anything, especially when I tend to put things off til the last possible second, is always stressful. I am tired, can't seem to get over the tiredness. It just follows me around...

Anyway, thats all for now, goodnight

Michelle

Smile.

I am so glad for the weekend.

To say that this week has been challenging, wouldn't really be appropriate. Perhaps to say that it was a fight of mind over matter and a steep uphill clawing, would be more accurate.

Nothing huge happened, but the accumulation of the little things that really made it just overwhelming. For example, sitting for an hour, almost every night this week, waiting for a religion class that never showed up. Or listening to a woman drive my friends nuts with her bi-polar tendencies. Or being fed rice everyday until I thought I would die. Or the intensely cold air I get to breathe everyday that won't let me get over this stupid cough. Or the substitute teacher who I have a hard time dealing with, Or maybe it was that one kid in my junior class who tells me to go to hell everyday as I walk through the door. I am not sure which of these things really made the week long, but they certainly all contributed.

However, now that I have made it through, mostly unscathed, I feel fairly calm and positive about next week. Of course, that's easy to say on Friday, we'll see if the feeling makes it until Monday.

The silver lining of all this, is that I am off this weekend, which is always nice. I don't have to DO anything. I can just stay at home and relax, recover, soak my feet and find happy Michelle again. Weekends off are my happy place! The other silver lining, within the silver lining, is that I finished reading an incredible book today. I started it this summer on my hot, sweaty road trip to the Keys, reading it aloud as we flew down the highway with all the windows down, and then I forgot about it and left it half finished until this week. Then I remembered it was there and decided to read it. At first it was hard to read it silently and I almost started reading it out loud to myself. But I thought that would be silly, so I just kept reading and got so engrossed I didn't even notice that it was finished. I hate that. I think the most depressing thing on earth, after taking down the Christmas tree, is finishing a really good book.

I don't know about all of you but when I read, it becomes another world. I get so into it that time vanishes, food doesn't matter and I forget about real life. This has caused problems. Like, in school, when I would go to bed and just read a chapter and then suddenly realize I was halfway through and it was three o'clock in the morning. That happens all the time actually. Its a problem. A sickness really. But then, you get so involved with the characters, the words, whatever and you want to jump inside and just stay there forever and then it ends. And it leaves a hole. A beautiful, beautiful hole. I love it. People who don't read are really missing out. Seriously.

Anyway, I am getting sidetracked. The point is, even in the terrible, awful, no good, really bad week, I still can find something to be happy about and that is what I would like to pass onto you! Even though it seems like things are terrible... Not all of it was bad, come on. You are alive, probably not starving to death if you are able to read this, you have a house, and a computer, eh? So, suck it up. Get through the crap and then sit back and remember the good stuff. And smile. You must smile =)

That is all.

Michelle

My new apartment

This past week I had to move to a new apartment two buildings over from my old apartment, because the lease was up. An older, smaller, dingier apartment than my other one. I complained about it the entire time I was moving.

"It's like a cross between the Great Depression and a bad 70s motel room up in here."

"When was this building built, the 1860s?"

I muttered and grumbled and generally surrounded myself with a cloud of dissatisfaction.

And now, freshly moved in to my much smaller, much older, much dingier room, I find myself truly loving it. Bigger is not always better. Newer is not always nicer. When there is room for improvement, I find myself improving, instead of settling into complacency.

Happiness is not what you have but what you do with what you are given. I let myself be miserable for an entire week and a half, instead of seeing the world of possibility in change. Lesson learned.

~Christina

The one about the new year

Happy New Year! I'm starting to feel like Korea is my second home. It's a good feeling to begin to be self-sufficient in a country that is so different than what I've been used to all my life.

I feel like this is going to be a good term, overall. The January/February term has a lot of big events in it. For example, my birthday, which is also Valentine's day. Also, Koreans celebrate the lunar new year at the beginning of February, so we get nearly a whole week off, as it is a national holiday. Remarkably, the lunar new year falls at the same time as Groundhog's Day, so while all the Koreans are off doing their traditional bowing, receiving money and advice from their parents, I'll be tuned in to see whether or not the groundhog saw his shadow and watching Bill Murray. SCORE.

Other important things that happen this term: my sister's birthday, my mom's birthday, my dad's birthday, and my pre-birthday weekend-off-of-fun. Additionally, this is my last term of working at Kinderest. It's been an amazing six months, but next term I'll either be working in the main program or at the textbook office. To be honest, I hope it's the latter. I think it would be amazing to get some real-life experience at an editing, journalism-related job.

That's about all I can think of for now. More soon!

~Christina

Last night of break.

I thought I would be cool and post everyday of break to keep everyone informed about my awesome time here, alone, in Korea. But then a lot of crappy stuff happened and frankly I didn't feel like blogging much at all. But the good news is, I am alright, things are getting fixed, and it is a new year, which so far has been amazing. I have fantastic family, great friends and I am glad to be alive and here.

For a while now I have been feeling like I was floating along through life, not really actively participating. I am working but I only work to get through the day to face another day. I have not really been taking each day as a chance to experience life. But no more! This break has given me ample time to think about things and one of the things I thought about was why am I here in Korea? This has been on my mind a lot lately and I figure it is time I started finding out why, instead of sitting around wondering why and then not getting any magical answers. Life is what happens while you are sitting around waiting to figure out what life is all about. And mine is passing me by.

I have only been here for four months and yet it seems like a lifetime. And the reason it does is because I have been counting down since the day I got here. I have been feeling like when I left the States I pushed a giant Pause button on my life and I came over here to bide my time and then when I get back I can push the giant Play button and get on with it. But that is so messed up. Just because I left everything I thought was important in my life doesn't mean my life has to stop. Relationships cannot grow and become more if you just sit passively and watch them. You cannot advance in a career if you don't try to move up. You cannot become great if you settle for hanging around being mediocre.

Why am i counting down the days til I can go home? What was so great about being home? Sure, I have friends, people I love, relationships I want to take part in. But my job was lame, my apartment was lame, my car sucked. It was nice to be in a country that actually understood me when I spoke to them out loud. It was nice to be comfortable and lame. But really thats all it was. Comfy and lame. Obviously not all of it. I am trying to make a point here. As much as I love home, this place can also be home. Sure it may not be my number one future destination, but there are plenty of things about Korea that Kick America's butt.

For example. The crime rate here is super low. Really you do not have to fear the Koreans. The people you have to worry about are all the foreigners. And the Military, but thats another story.

Public transportation is amazing. You can get anywhere, any time of the day or night and it is safe, and relatively cheap. Services. You can get just about anything done for really cheap. Like, if you are moving, some guys will come, pack up all your stuff, move it to your new place and unpack it all. And that is not extra. If you want your groceries delivered after a big shopping spree, you can just tell them to take it to your house for you. And its free. You can get lots of random things done really cheap here. I found out today its because Korea is a group community. People working together as a group for the common good. This was actually in reference to the bath houses (which I will not be visiting). You wash my back, I'll wash yours. So not one person is profiting off of everyone else's misfortune. You want to get your car fixed, great, I am a mechanic, so I will fix it. My house needs blah blah, super you are a carpenter, you can fix it. etc. My point is, Korea has it figured out. And its nice.

Anyway back to me not being lame anymore. I finally decided that I am not going to be happy ever if I just sit here counting the days til I go home. There are other things I could be doing. I could be travelling the country side, checking out cool Korean stuff. I could be reading books, learning the language, writing more, working out... I could be living.

We have a house keeper... so I have gotten really lazy about cleaning anything ever. But tonight I cleaned our bathroom because I think she skips the bathroom. And it kind of felt great. That is MY bathroom. I can clean it. Have I lost my mind? Possibly. But I feel great. And I can't wait to go to school tomorrow and teach those darn kids. This term can be super fun. It can get going and by living I will actually be speeding the whole thing up. Isn't it true? Summer always goes way too fast cause its just so much fun and then Christmas never comes.....

Anyway those are my thoughts for the evening =)

Michelle